In August 2015 life and business coach Dianna Jacobsen attended an inspiring two-day presentation by self-help guru Dr Wayne Dyer in Melbourne, Australia. This turned out to be his last presentation, as he left this world peacefully only one week later. Dianna shares with us Dr Dyer’s renowned Ten Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, a framework for life which will serve us and generations to come.
#1: HAVE A MIND THAT IS OPEN TO EVERYTHING AND ATTACHED TO NOTHING
We are conditioned throughout our lives to have certain beliefs and set ways of doing things. When others don’t do things the way we do, or have differing beliefs, we tend to label them as ‘wrong’. But our beliefs are just the result of ingrained habits and patterns, as are theirs. Who are we to decide what is right – or wrong – for anyone else? If we just let go of our attachment to doing things ‘our way’ and be open to new possibilities, many ‘barriers’ would be lowered.
#2: DON’T DIE WITH YOUR MUSIC STILL IN YOU
We all have a special gift, a purpose, a passion for something; something that makes our hearts sing. This doesn’t need to be monumental or world-changing; it can be a special skill that we have, such as being a wonderful mum, or having a beautiful singing voice, or a special way with animals. But too often we ignore that urge within us, in favour of our ‘responsibilities’ and we don’t listen to that little voice encouraging us to follow this passion. It’s a great shame to think you could look back on your life from your deathbed, and have regrets about what you didn’t do…. So go and do it, today!
#3: YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE
Dr Dyer shared a great example with his audiences: if you squeeze an orange, out comes orange juice! The same is true for us, as humans, with thoughts and emotions: when we are put under pressure, our behaviour reflects our true self. If we don’t have love within us, we cannot give love away; if we don’t have kindness within us, it is difficult to be kind to others. By showing love, respect and acceptance to yourself, you ‘fill’ yourself with these qualities, and thereby have them within you to share with others.
#4: EMBRACE SILENCE
Today’s world is noisy, our senses are bombarded from morning to night, and our minds are constantly cluttered. It is easy to lose sight of our way of being, in the midst of all the doing. We seldom have quiet time to contemplate and reflect. Create a time and space in your daily life where you can switch off each day, even just for a few minutes, and reconnect with your inner self. You will feel calmer and more at peace, and as a result experience more resilience and the ability to respond rather than to react to life’s situations and frustrations….
#5: GIVE UP YOUR PERSONAL HISTORY
We all have a story, a background, in terms of jobs, relationships, health challenges and so on. But regardless of what has happened, this is not who you are. How often have you heard people describing themselves in terms of failed relationships, challenging life situations, or ‘note-worthy’ health problems? It becomes their identity, their ‘label’….so drop your old ‘story’, and write the story you are intending to live in the future!
#6: YOU CAN’T SOLVE A PROBLEM WITH THE SAME MIND THAT CREATED IT
When we have a certain way of thinking and being, we experience results in line with those choices and behaviours. However, if that style of thinking, being and decision-making has led to results that you are unhappy about, in terms of health, relationships, or finance, you can’t resolve this by blaming others, or yourself. What you can change is the way you think. You will always find that with a different outlook, a different result can be created, even if this is your acceptance of an outcome, which creates harmony within you, rather than your resistance to it, which creates internal struggle and dis-ease.
#7: THERE ARE NO JUSTIFIED RESENTMENTS
We all have occasions in our life where we feel that someone has wronged us, and should be held accountable. But who does this resentful or vengeful emotion really hurt? OURSELVES! Often, the target of our wrath is oblivious to the whole perceived ‘problem’, or simply doesn’t care! Remember, we interpret the world and our daily interactions through the filters of our own values and expectations, and we experience dismay and disappointment when someone else fails to play by our rules. It is pointless feeling wounded and resentful. Just accept that we don’t know what may be happening in their lives, and that by choosing to be offended – yes, it is our choice – we are just causing ourselves stress! Just let it go.
#8: TREAT YOURSELF AS IF YOU ALREADY ARE WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE
Have you ever said, “One day, when I…..[fill in the blank]…then I’ll feel happy and successful”? Be happy and successful right now! Live as if the [fill in the blank] has already occurred. Dress as if, walk as if, talk as if, conduct yourself as if…. and most importantly, treat yourself as if [the blank] has already occurred. Don’t put off being exactly what you want to be! Be that person NOW! Make choices congruent to that person, starting today! THEN the results will start to show up, because they will be aligned with who you are, and how you think and act. You already are that person. Embrace it. Now.
#9: TREASURE YOUR DIVINITY
Do you know of anyone else, in the whole world, out of billions and billions of people, past or present (or future!), who are exactly the same as you? Of course not! There is only one ‘you’! Out of billions and billions! How extraordinary! And not just your fingerprints, but consider the non-physical aspects of you as well. The way you think and feel, the way you paint or knit or sing or parent. All the parts that make you ‘you’ are unique. Begin to appreciate how unique and special you truly are, and the special gifts you bring to the world. Gradually, retrain your inner voice to compliment and encourage yourself, rather than criticise. Be proud of who you are, every little piece of you.
#10: AVOID ALL THOUGHTS THAT WEAKEN YOU
The world contains many examples of violence, poverty, despair and sorrow; also countless examples of love, kindness, beauty and abundance. In our own lives, we are likely to have experienced each. The ‘positive’ thoughts are uplifting, while the ‘negatives’ cause us to feel sick, stressed and unhappy. While we can’t control all of those things ‘out there’, we can manage the types of thoughts we think and the words we say. So, if nothing else, catch yourself when you want to dwell on the negatives, or to say something negative, and instead, heed the old adage, to ‘say something nice, or say nothing at all!’ Set yourself up for success!
R.I.P. Dr Wayne Dyer (10/5/40 – 30/8/15)
For more information on Dianna and her work, please visit her website: www.shineatbusiness.com.au